OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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