We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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