In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
