He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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