Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
