Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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