I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
