This girl is more easily done than said...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
