I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
