4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
