And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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