8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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