I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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