hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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