Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
