I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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