I hate your face
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
