The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
