I just cut my nipple shaving
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
