dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
