He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Are we still banned from the library?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
