I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
