Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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