ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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