What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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