wanna go halves on a baby?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
