I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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