According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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