just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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