distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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