At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
