32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
