God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
