Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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