I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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