i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
