dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
