Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
