Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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