I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize