its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
