Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
