My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
