His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
