dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
