we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize