She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
