i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
