the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
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today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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