I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
