I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
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It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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