"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He has the fingertips of a God
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
