Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
