"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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