How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
