shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
