Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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