you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize